Yet another Kevan story? No way! Way!

This next 'Kevan story' continues the theme of 'dump truck stories'. Dump trucks and I didn't seem to get along too well when I was a teenager...

One summer I was assigned to a roofing crew in Provo, Utah, re-roofing a student dorm at Brigham Young University. These dorms had dead-flat roofs, and we were installing a brand new type of roof on the buildings: a tapered insulation system. The purpose of the new roofing system was to provide a 1/8 to 1/4 inch per foot slope to the roof, so that water would run to the roof drains, instead of puddling on the roof.

At the time, this idea was revolutionary! We created a slope in the roof by installing layers of flat 1" thick insulation, one on top of another, in a stair-step fashion, beginning with one layer at the roof drain, and ending in 5 or 6 layers at the edge of the roof. It was a great idea, with one problem: how to get rid of the 'stair step' created by off-setting the insulation (the roof still needed to be smooth to install the new roof).

Many people in the states love their green lawns. Each spring, in order to aerate their lawns, and to remove the dead grass, they would run a 'de-thatcher' machine over the lawn. This machine was simply a rotary lawn mower that had hundreds of loose pieces of metal in lieu of the normal blades used to cut the grass. As the loose metal flipped around and around, it would dig into the lawn, throwing-up the dead grass (with no roots) while leaving the green grass (that still had roots). It worked great!

Someone had the brilliant idea of using this machine to 'grind' down the stair-stepped insulation. After the insulation had been laid out, a crew member would 'mow' the roof with this de-thatching machine. As the machine moved over the insulation, it would take off any high areas of the insulation. By running the machine back and forth, the stair-stepped insulation would eventually become flat and smooth.

What was once a dead-flat roof was now not only sloped, but insulated also! There was just one problem for the crew that had to install this complex system: what to do with the debris.

It was a mess! Not only did we have to remove the old roofing system (think 20 years of dirt and grime), but, while installing the tapered insulation system, we would be faced with hundreds of pounds of ground-up insulation blowing around, getting in your eyes, in your mouth... yuck! If it was a windy day, there were times when you could not even see the roofing crew! There would be so much insulation 'dust' from installing the new roof, it became impossible to see or breath...

Fortunately, much of the time I was on dump truck duty. As the crew removed the roof, and as they ground the top of the insulation flat, they would shovel the debris into wheel barrows and then into a chute to the dump truck. Once full, it was my job to drive the dump truck to the city dump, and then return. The trip there and back would take about 30 minutes.

On this particular day, as I was taking a load of debris to the dump, driving down the main street in Provo, Utah, when suddenly I heard sirens. Looking in my side-view mirrors, I could not see anything behind me, but I could tell the sirens were getting closer.

I continued to check my rear-view mirrors as I drove down the large avenue, wondering what was going on... when, all at once, a wall of fire came from the back of the dump truck and into the window! I almost wrecked the truck as I lurched away from the flame coming in my window.

It seems that one of the crew had flipped a lit cigarette into the back of the dump truck. Over time, the smoldering cigarette had lit the loose, puffy, insulation. As I drove down the road, the wind had whipped-up the smoldering insulation into a roaring flame!

It was then that my brilliant mind went to work on a solution! It seemed rather simple: there was fire in the back of my truck... water puts out fire... so all I needed was to find some water to put the fire out, and I would be a hero!

As I continued to drive down main street, I looked for anyplace I could find that would have water... I soon saw just what I needed, and crossed three lanes of traffic to get to the gas station on the other side of the road.

It wasn't until I saw the gas station attendant's face that I questioned my decision... He had bolted out of his little shack, his face white as a ghost, waving his arms and shouting at me! My mind went blank-- what could be wrong?

Then it hit me: GAS STATION + truck full of FIRE = oops.

I quickly swerved to keep from hitting the gas station attendant, and drove back onto the road. About that time the 'sirens' caught up with me: two police cars and a fire truck. They escorted me to the nearest empty lot, and then sprayed the back of my dump truck with water, changing the roaring blaze into a big, black heap of smoldering muck.

I thought that would be the end of it, but no... I was then escorted to the dump, and required to shovel the entire load out of the truck BY HAND, as the fire dept. sprayed the debris with water-- just to ensure that all the fire was out. Instead of 30 minutes, I was now about two hours into my trip to the dump.

I could see and hear my Foreman screaming at me long before I arrived back at the jobsite. It was not a good day, all the way around. As Pogo would say: We have met the enemy, and the enemy is us!

As you might expect, I learned a great lesson from this experience: I was an idiot!